False Expectations Appearing Real (F.E.A.R.)
“putting a positive spin on something that has a negative connotation”
Categorizing our FEARS: healthy and unhealthy
How do you know the difference?
Pete: “A simple healthy fear would be, ‘I’m on the edge of a cliff, I’m hiking, and I look over the edge and wanna stay back from the edge because I’m gonna die if I step the wrong way.’ That’s a very healthy fear. You should be extremely careful. An unhealthy fear is someone saying, ‘I have a great employee who has this annoying thing that they don’t do at the right time, and I’m afraid to talk to them because I don’t want to upset them because they’re 85% good. It’s so hard to hire people and I’m afraid of losing this person if I talk to them.’ This is an unhealthy fear.”
Peg: “We work with a company right now that is growing, and in order to grow your business you need to hire people. Business owners are afraid of hiring people. We’re working with somebody right now and they are ready to hire. We always say, if you need a half a person, hire a full-time person. We’re at that point with this company and he has put it off for months because we have to replace the office manager because she’s not doing a great job. His fear is ‘But what if I hire someone and they’re not as good.’ The second thing is, ‘I’m bringing on an additional person, what if my business doesn’t grow? What if my business isn’t going to support that family?’ They’re allowing all of this fear and negativity to get in for choices that he should be making. It holds you back.”
The Snowball Effect
Peg: “The fear of the snowball effect keeps people from growing their business. And that’s why people bring us in…to push them past that point. That’s why they grow with us.
Avoidance is Really a Recipe for Disaster
Pete: “It can be…’I won’t look at my financials because I might see something in there that scares me.’ It’s happening whether you look at them or not.”
Pete: “Flip it around and say, ‘Well you do want to grow your business, right? You want it to continue to profitably grow for the next ten years or so. Think about some of the things that you absolutely love doing. If you want to do more of those, well, we’ve got to make it grow.’ Fear losing something you really love, and that can drive you too. It’s a positive way to look at fear.”
How to Know your FEARS
Peg: We make them face their fears. We ask, ‘ What is the worst thing that would happen? Let’s go through that, and then let’s talk about what we’ll deal with if that were to happen.’ We then have a plan so we approach it logically, and then push through that fear. It’s called perturbation. It’s a point of disturbance when you’re about to do something that’s uncomfortable. It’s a growth opportunity. And as we’re coaching, that’s what we do. We make people uncomfortable, so they grow.”
Pete. “Sometimes writing down those potential consequences and looking at them logically helps calm people down.”
Peg: “If you do have a fear, one way to overcome that is to look for proof for somebody else. We have lots of case studies and examples.”
Watch our Channel 4 (Daytime Columbus) Interview: